Adventures in Yorkshire

Rosie

My favorite person has arrived. She is my height. I love playing with her, but she does have some strange ideas.

The first time she came to play we had a lovely time in the garden playing fetch. She is improving. Or so I thought. She picked up the ball as though she was going to throw it for me. But no. For some unknown reason she decided it was her ball. Indeed she called it her ball.

Imagine my consternation. I tempted to correct her, and she started to cry and then worst of all Joanna took her side. Talk about betrayal. She locked me inside, whilst Rosie was allowed to continued to play with my ball!

Later on I was minding my own business when Rosie came to talk to me. She produced from no-where something remarkably like one of my favorite toys, and it smelt just like it. I hoped this meant she was going to play with me. But, and there is always a but, she pushed the toy in my direction and as soon as I showed an interest she pulled it away. This was so frustrating, not to mention confusing. I could not understand what she wanted.

Eventually, I managed to pull it away from her. Well then she went ballistic. Talk about the cat calling the kettle black!

This time Joanna believed me, and Roise was removed and was told this was not behavior becoming of a young lady. Whatever that means?

You would have thought she would have learned her lesson, but a few days later she decided to use similar tactics and this time I was ready. As soon as she pushed the toy at me I had it in my jaws.

Her mum who was watching the performance was not at all amused. “Where you teasing Milton Roise?”

“Yes. ”

Victory was mine!

Wind

Today me and my pals thought we would have some fun. Not entirely certain as to why. There was something in the air. It was traveling fast and making a rumbling sound.

I just wanted to run and run. There was so much to do. Firstly the squirrels were out and I just had to chase them. It is so aggravating the way they always climb the nearest tree before I can properly introduce myself. I can not get to them up there. I asked them politely if they would care to come down, and what was there reply? They hissed and broke off small branches. They could have hit me! Most inconsiderate.

Whilst I was busy, Joanna stood where I had left her calling for me. She is so impatient. I often have to wait for her to change her shoes before we can even begin our walk, but if she ever has to wait for me, I never hear the end of it.

I was having none of it. I looked straight at her and ran off in the other direction, for about a quarter of a mile- just far enough to make the point. Then I turned and ran back in the other direction. I did not stop, I just kept running straight passed her, chasing the leaves. Oh she was mad.

Joanna was not the only one. I noticed a lot of humans were looking stressed today. I can not understand why. My fellow spaniels and I were having a great time!

Leaving the House

Left behind: Photographed by Joanna 29/10/2021

What’s going on? He has a coat on. He never wears a coat. He went to his shed, but didn’t wait for me. He had not given me my breakfast or even greeted me. How could he not notice me? He is picking up a bag. That is not the one they bring on my walks!

Now Joanna is putting her jacket on. She is grabbing the keys. But she has not put my collar on. Or my harness. I’m on the wrong side of the gate. They have shut the front door.

Wait a minute. I know, that noise. That’s my car! They are driving off in my car. Without me! What did I do to deserve this?

But they have left the kitchen door open. That is odd. She has left me to wonder in and out. Someone is coming down the stairs.

Oh, its herself. Well beggars can’t be choosers. At least she appears as if she might feed me. Perhaps if I sit like a statue with my widest eyes, she may even be convinced to take me for a walk.

Not as fun as Joanna of course. I love our morning wrestling match, whilst she puts on my harness.

I have to sit still for herself though. Sadly it is the only way to get her to pet my ears. It’s awful what us dogs are reduced to.

Hanging the Washing

Joanna shut me out again. The audacity. Then, then she went outside with a whole basket of wet clothes. My favorite thing no less.

She knows how much I love taking clothes straight out of the washing machine. They have such an interesting smell. She often leaves them dangling in the garden for me. All I have to do is jump up and grab a sock or a shirt with my teeth. And then we play a nice game of chase. Joanna knows this is what I like to do. So why on earth would she trap me inside?

Honestly, I do not know what gets into her sometimes.

Going for a Walk

“Herself” made me walk on a lead. A lead! I wasn’t impressed. I gnawed, and chewed at the monstrosity- I have chewed through many leads before- but she would not budge.

Looking at the Horizon: Photographed by Joanna 13/09/2021

She knows how I require to walk with my nose to the ground so I can take in all the smells, and pick up interesting things people have left for me on the ground. I am a gun-dog am I not?

Yet she pulled the lead up straight, so I had to walk with my head up like a prince. Can you imagine? When I tried to inform her of my opinion on the matter she completely ignored me!

This is not how I like to walk. If I must be subjected to walking on a lead, my prefered option is to lead the way, a good pace. Joanna walks far to slow. I often have to pull quite hard or even up on a bit of a run when she takes me out. “Herself” on the other hand really takes the biscuit. She tells me to hurry up. The audacity. And, and she makes me walk at her heal!

I am more than capable of taking myself for a walk. I have demonstrated this on plenty of occasions. Does she listen? NO.

Walking off. Photographed by Joanna 13/09/2021

Socks

I love socks. They smell so good, and they are so easy to find. There is the big, oh what do they call it? Laundry bucket. Yes that is it. The laundry bucket. I do not think much of the name, but I do approve of what can be found inside. Everything smells so nice.

Anyway, socks. Marvelous things. I just love taking them out of the laundry bucket, they feel so nice on my teeth. A certain amount of speed is required though. Joanna does not approve of my fascination and will try and stop me! Can you believe it? She even takes them from me and puts them into a big loud round machine called a washing machine. Oh, it makes me angry.

The best socks of course, can be found on Joanna’s feet. Trust her to keep them for herself. Relieving Joanna of her socks takes real skill and patience. You have to wait until she is distracted. I have found out from numerous attempts that you are more likely to succeed, when she is sitting down.

Then the real test begins. She must not know what I am doing. If she so much as senses my gentle touch she rebukes me! Therefore, I have to be stealthy and very quick. She must not detect my teeth or mouth until the operation is complete. And the socks are safely retrieved between my teeth.

This is usually followed by a game of chase at which point I can safely say, the operation is a complete success!

If there are no socks to be found, I have discovered that the TV remote works just as well. Especially when Strictly is about to start!

Gardening

You won’t believe what she did to me today! I was having a wonderful time in the garden. It was a nice sunny day, not so hot that I had to stick my tough out or go for a nice swim in the pond. Just a nice pleasant afternoon.

Then Joanna comes out and puts a lead on me. Puts a lead on me! ME! In my own garden no less. Before I know it I am back inside and the door is shut. I know. She shut the door on me. I was not impressed, and I told her that in no uncertain terms.

And what does she say? “Sorry Duke, but mum says you are not allowed to dig holes in the garden.”

Allowed. ALLOWED. Honestly who does she think is in charge around here?